27.2.05

a stroll around montreal (really i do hate this)

(its nice and cold in here!)
air conditioning coolant
dripping on my cheek

(you need a tan!)
blistering blinding humid sun
burning my pale office building skin

(lets eat!)
poisoned fast food
leaking chemicals into my blood
(really i do hate this)

(where to?)
reflecting pools
with green god-like statues
they tower over us below
the pools full of cigarette butts

(its busy here today)
men on benches
newspapers covering their bodies

(i love you!)
abandoned cats purring
in love with a stranger
closing their eyes
being scratched under the chin
fleas running loose
and up your sleeve

(save me!)
tourists flocking to commercialized churches
donating your every travel dollar
to save the evil sinners
(really i do hate this)

(smile!)
a smirk falls across my face and an eyebrow rises
photographs taken
of tired landmarks
planted urban trees
and foolish gardens
i see a plastic grocery bag caught in the tree above
(really i do hate this)

(want a treat?)
plastic shoed prostitutes getting off
on the thought of nursing your dollar
my belly filled with ice cream
i too can barely walk straight

( i dont have a job today!)
calculating my moves
dodging street kids asking for change
penniless and urban
instead take my leftover sandwich
i wont miss it
you will survive another night because of me

(nice place you got there!)
rain soaked carpets
couches thrown upside down
soggy cardboard boxes
new housing developments for the money
castaway buildings for the poor

(what about your past?)
fire trucks roar past us
missing my red painted toes by an inch
screaming sirens fueled by my tears
(really i do hate this)

(what now?)
arriving home
with our jail-like view
flower boxes banned
urban interior parking lot with garage doors opening at 3am
naked woman changing as i wash my dishes
suds racing down the drain
polluting my world yet again
(really i do hate this)

(click!)
my television set is glowing
erasing time
friendships disappearing
choking life from your soul
solitude and empty roaring laughter
(really i do hate this)

(sweet dreams!)
removing my contact lenses now
i cannot see reality, but this is ok
scrubbing at my skin and washing off my glamour
clean straight white teeth
colored toffee hair pulled back in a knot
consuming vitamins and birth control pills
(really i do hate this)

(are you still awake?)
satin sleeping masks placed over tired eyes
cats curled up purring
sweatshop ready-to-wear pajamas
keeping me warm and toasty
good night world
(really i do love this)

21.2.05

He is, gonzo.

a) Every now and then when your life gets complicated and the weasels start closing in, the only cure is to load up on heinous chemicals and then drive like a bastard from Hollywood to Las Vegas ... with the music at top volume and at least a pint of ether.


The Pblog: HST delightful top 5...

1) Going to trial with a lawyer who considers your whole life-style a Crime in Progress is not a happy prospect.

2) No man is so foolish but he may sometimes give another good counsel, and no man so wise that he may not easily err if he takes no other counsel than his own. He that is taught only by himself has a fool for a master.

3) I hate to advocate drugs, alcohol, violence, or insanity to anyone, but they've always worked for me.

4) I have a theory that the truth is never told during the nine-to-five hours.

5) If there is, in fact, a Heaven and a Hell, all we know for sure is that Hell will be a viciously overcrowded version of Phoenix...


Hunter S. Thompson
US journalist (1939 - 2005)

14.2.05

The judge had "a habit"

Being Valentine's day and all, an entirely over obnoxious occasion.
I figured I would add to this strange day,
with, well...some smut.

This entry is for my beloved Lawyer,
and, luckily he doesn't live in Oklahoma.


Oklahoma judge kicked off bench for masturbating in court
08/02/2005 7:46:00 PM

OKLAHOMA CITY (AP) - Jurors and others in Judge Donald Thompson's courtroom kept hearing a strange whooshing noise, like a bicycle pump or maybe a blood pressure cuff.
During one trial, Thompson seemed so distracted some jurors thought he was playing a hand-held video game or tying fly-fishing lures behind the bench. The explanation, investigators said, is even stranger than some imagined: the judge had a habit of masturbating with a penis pump under his robe during trials.

The lurid allegations have led to criminal charges against Thompson, brought an embarrassing end to a solid career and shocked many of his colleagues. The case could also lead to a wave of appeals from defendants claiming the judge was not paying attention while presiding over their cases.

Thompson, a 58-year-old married father of three grown children, has denied the allegations and said the pump was just a gag gift received from a hunting buddy on his 50th birthday. He retired in August after being threatened with removal from the bench but still faces indecent-exposure charges brought against him last month.

"We're certainly saddened by the thought that the prosecutor filed charges," said Clark Brewster, Thompson's lawyer.
"We thought all this was dealt with when he resigned. We didn't feel like anything that was alleged rose to the level of criminal charges."
The trials during which he allegedly used the pump included murder cases, as well as a libel suit in which a jury ordered the company that publishes the Oklahoman newspaper, a website and a TV station to pay $3.7 million.

Oklahoma Attorney General Drew Edmondson, who filed the paperwork to remove Thompson from the bench, said he would be surprised if the scandal did not lead to appeals. But he said: "I don't know if they will be successful. They will still have to show actual prejudice to the point that something was done in error."

Jim Wall, police chief in the small town Sapulpa, said he had heard rumours of the judge's behind-the-bench activities for about a month but added: "You've got the most powerful man in Creek County and I think a lot people were intimidated by him."
Police built a case against the judge after one of Wall's officers testified during a 2003 murder trial. From the witness stand, the officer saw a piece of plastic tubing disappear under Thompson's robe. During a lunch break, officers took photographs of the pump under the desk.
Investigators later collected carpet samples, Thompson's robes and the chair from behind the bench and found semen, court records showed.

A former state legislator and a judge with more than 20 years on the bench in Creek County in eastern Oklahoma, Thompson was well-liked in the community and had helped many young prosecutors and judges learn their jobs. But those who know him said he had become withdrawn in the last few years.
Thompson's court reporter, Lisa Foster, told authorities she saw him use the pump at least 10 times during trials. She said the first time in court was in 2000 but she did not tell authorities.
"I didn't want to be found dead in a ditch somewhere," she said.
Foster told authorities she saw Thompson use the device almost daily during the August 2003 murder trial of Kevin Vomberg, a man accused of shaking a toddler to death. The case ended in a hung jury. The whooshing sound could be heard on Foster's audiotape of the trial.

When jurors at the trial asked the judge about the sound, Thompson said he hadn't heard it but would listen for it.
Foster and a bailiff were fired by Thompson after giving statements against him.

"I always thought he was an excellent trial judge," said Don Nelson, who tried more than 40 cases before Thompson as the prosecutor assigned to his court.
Nelson handled a murder trial during which authorities said Thompson used the pump. The jury ended up convicting the defendant on the lesser charge of manslaughter.

"I never heard anything that was going on," Nelson said.

"I was completely shocked and couldn't believe it."

The defeat of J.W. part 1

"Glamour, that trans-human aura or power to attract imitation, is a kind of vessel into which dreams are poured, and some vessels are simply worthier than others... A beautiful woman can turn heads but real glamour has a deeper pull... Glamour [is] the power to rearrange people's emotions, which, in effect, is the power to control one's environment."
Arthur Miller, US dramatist (1915 - 2005)



Okay...let me start by saying that JizzyWizzy, aka: whom I will now call:

"J.W."

joined www.blogger.com because he has been prompted to do so by reading The Pblog.

Yes.

So be it, these blogs are given out for free.
Okay, then so my Plist will now follow below:

a) User name: "JizzyWizzy".
b) www.jizzywizzy.blogspot.com
(please note format and content,
and I should ask my Lawyer for advice ASAP...)

or,

c) for just-as-lame-excitement,
see the following:
d) http://www.therightfoot.net/mystuff/whatever/swf/bubblewrap.swf

or,

c) for more just-as-lame-excitement,
see the following:
a full sneak-peak into J.W.'s workout regime:
d) http://www.made2smile.com/funpages/dancingbaby/dancingbaby.htm


J.W. good luck with your new career as a blogger...

11.2.05

The Gobbler

Valentine's day weekend.

For some, it is a time of sitting at home and reading (or writing) my Pblog.
For others, it is a time for throwing themselves into a wild game to win a mate.
This as I know is often difficult, due to the fact that during this time of year hearts appear and or cloud one's eyes and it is difficult to see straight. So bumping into strangers becomes that of an art I could say.

Taking what you can get is almost vital if you are lucky enough to find someone that prefers a Valentine player. And if you are nearing or passing the ripe age of 33, then I guess you must take what you can get and share that taxi with your V-player honey!

I have always been told that I am someone that likes to try to hook-people-up, this isn't a bad thing I would think to be told or is it?
A) Are you calling me Cupid?
B) Do I prance around town semi-naked?
C) Do I carry W.M.D's? (aka: vicious pointy arrows)
D) Is my butt really that round?
E) the only wings I have are on my panty-liners (oops, nature can be gross to men)
It's just that I have lived around Canada and have many friends that are still "single" friends, that are also looking for MY crowd of single's to hook-up-with.

Why do my friends ask me if I have anyone?
Is it because I am not available?
Am I, "a good catch" Hell it's my Blog, so I think so. (ok, ok! I will stop)
I will stop with my "arranging" or "suggesting" but please note that David and I are more than happy to give names and numbers. I wish I had such help.

youknowyouwantadate@iamhot-to-trot.ca

You and I all know that it is quite difficult to stay warm this time of year,
so a toasty bodily encounter may be required.
Why not go to a slick hotel or stay in and eat a pound of cheap dark chocolate covered cherries? (Russel Stover makes the best hand-dipped ones by the way.)
I don't care if you are single-in-the-city, go to that hotel and get a massage.

Treat yourself.

I always loved the quote: "You have to love yourself before you can love someone else"
This clearly goes out to my friend Roseleen. I hope she understands why I have stated this. At this point in her life she is not able to love my friends or I. She seems to have difficulty keeping friends or men. To be picky of whom to have a relationship with is one thing, but to be constantly alone? I think there is a comfort in this that no one will ever be allowed to know of.
There is also some difficulty in her learning that good friendships endure all obstacles over time. It is a plain and simple thing. I am aware that a marriage is not all roses every single day, and for anyone that does believe such a thing is out of their mind. So anyone that readily turns down friendship...in my mind is a freak of nature and I truly pity their loneliness to come.
Furthermore, I truly don't understand why someone would reject an open hand?
I suppose David and I are together as our friendship has seen many obstacles over many years and has remained true. We know a good friend when we see one too. He has always been there for me, and understands my guts. I love him beyond the fact that he is now my boyfriend, I love him for his neverending friendship, his compassion, his mind, and his heart (and this list goes on)
Again, good friendships endure all obstacles over time.

Ok, back on track.

I credit the following link from David, as he let me in on this secret getaway!
I beg him (daily) to take me far far away to this fine establishment...to enjoy life's finest luxury at it's swanky damn best! Actually for the record, I beg god to take me here in my prayers!

A feast for your eyes lies ahead...

http://www.lileks.com/institute/motel/gob1.html

If you are unable to make it to The Gobbler during this seasonal romantic weekend, I guess you just aren't living life to-the-fullest now are you.


Hugs and kisses xoxoxox (to most)

9.2.05

Maui surfs

http://www.meezer.com/

I confess, when I leave my house Guinness and Maui take over the house AND now my computer.

Today My Siamese cat Maui came across a good website for her and I to view together!
She sat captivated for over half an hour (which is long for a Siamese to sit) as we clicked on the MANY Siamese cat pictures from around the world. She just had to show me.

Maybe this is sort of like a new online dating forum for her. Her birthday is approaching and it is time to celebrate with some "Cat-action?"
No.
She is a good cat.

However, I should ask the other 'pussies' in my life which sites they post themselves on looking for wives, husbands, flings, dogs, cats...to help her out!
Maybe we can get Guinness a piece of ass too, as I know he misses his fine Monteal feline cuisine now that we are newbies to Toronto. (did I just say newbie?)

Hmm.

The site even has sound files that have wild screeching Siamese meows.
SO this was indeed odd for me, the human to endure.
But she did love it until I pushed her off my lap and said "that's enough!"

Grab a belt

Virginia bans droopy drawers, offenders face $50 fine

08/02/2005 10:39:00 PM
RICHMOND, Va. (AP) - Virginians who wear their pants so low their underwear shows may want to think about investing in a stronger belt.

The state's House of Delegates passed a bill Tuesday authorizing a $50 fine for anyone who displays his or her underpants in a "lewd or indecent manner." Delegate Lionell Spruill, a Democrat who opposed the bill, pleaded with his colleagues to remember their own youthful fashion follies.

During an extended monologue Monday, he talked about how they dressed or wore their hair in their teens. On Tuesday, he said the measure is an unconstitutional attack on young blacks that would force parents to take off work to accompany their children to court just for making a fashion statement.

"This is a foolish bill, Mr. Speaker, because it will hurt so many," Spruill said before the measure was approved by a vote of 60-34. It now goes to the state Senate.
The bill's sponsor, Delegate Algie Howell, has said constituents were offended by the exposed underwear. He did not speak on the floor Tuesday.

7.2.05

No Sweat

www.behindthelabel.org

Mary-Kate, Ashley: No Sweat
Thu Dec 09, 2004.

Mary-Kate and Ashley Olsen really do care about the kiddies.
The high-powered teen titans have pledged to make sure their signature clothing line for Wal-Mart will not be produced in sweatshops.

The former child stars were targeted by the National Labor Committee and student activists from the twins' college, New York University, who sent an open letter Wednesday to the Olsens asking them to sign a petition to force Wal-Mart to guarantee female workers who make the clothing in factories in Bangladesh the "legal right to maternity leave with benefits."

The letter claimed the twins' company, DualStar Entertainment, refused hundreds of appeals over the last seven months to disclose the names of the Bangladesh factories where the Mary-Kate and Ashley brand is being manufactured so the NLC can ensure the women working there are aware of their legal rights.
Visit

"It is only through this simply and doable step that the women in these factories can be alerted that their legal maternity rights will now be respected, and that a system can be established to verify compliance," wrote Charles Kernaghan, the NLC's director.
Stating that the letter is in no way meant "as a personal attack" against the Olsens, Kernaghan urged the superstars to "do the right thing by standing up to defend the rights of other young teenage women across the developing world who are sewing their garments."
Kernaghan cited statistics showing that exploited workers in certain factories work 14 hour days, seven days a week, while making a sweatshop wage of just 13 to 18 cents per hour without being able to take three months paid leave to care for their own children, a benefit that they are entitled to by law. Many of those female laborers are often fired or harassed until they quit should they attempt to do so.

To get their point, Kernaghan and the NYU chapter of United Students Against Sweatshops decided to make the Olsens the focus of Thursday night's march and candlelight vigil at New York's Washington Square Park.

"The NYU students and I would like to invite Mary-Kate and Ashley Olsen to attend tomorrow's events to sign the pledge, at which point the banners will be rolled up, the demonstration will be canceled and we will hold a brief celebration to thank Mary-Kate and Ashley Olsen for doing the right thing," the letter continued. "This could be a win-win situation for the Olsens, the NYU students and for young women garment workers across Bangladesh."
NYU's student paper, Washington Square News, also called on the actresses to get involved in affording garment workers maternity leave, citing Wal-Mart's dubious track record as the world's largest retailer in using sweatshops and routinely intimidating and firing workers who tried to organize labor unions.

"It would be scandalous for Mary-Kate and Ashley Olsen, who are held up as examples of successful, independent, young women, to deny this most basic right to the women producing their clothing line," stated the paper.

Looking to avoid becoming the next Kathie Lee Gifford, the Olsens decided to play ball.
The sisters' rep, Michael Pagnotta, told E! Online that the Olsens were never aware of the group's petition, but he was confident their company's retail vendors "were being asked to adhere to the most rigorous standards."

"Signing it was never an issue for us," said Pagnotta. "I think what [the labor activists] were suggesting is that Mary-Kate and Ashley refused to sign a petition. But they had never seen it."
Pagnotta said DualStar reps had been in talks with the NLC since Wednesday, and once Mary-Kate and Ashley took a look at the maternity-leave pledge and evaluated it, they readily signed.
The pledge reads: "On behalf of the DualStar Entertainment Group LLC, I Mary-Kate Olsen hereby sign this pledge that to the best of our abilities we will guarantee that any woman sewing our garments in Bangladesh will be afforded her legal maternity leave of at least three months with full pay." It was signed by Mary-Kate and dated Dec. 9.

Earlier Thursday, the twins' attorney, Stanton L. Stein, replied to Kernaghan with a letter stating that the Olsens were "immediately responsive upon learning of the issue," but due to "serious security concerns," they would not be able to attend tonight's gathering.
He also called on the NLC to honor its promise to cancel the demonstration and instead hold a brief celebration announcing his clients' support and thanking them.
In his letter, Stein also defended the Olsens, arguing that while Kernaghan stated that his group was not personally admonishing them, the resulting media coverage had framed it as a "personal attack" on the girls, whom he said are "completely blameless."
"Still, they have chosen to raise their voices to help improve the lives of workers and their families and should be appropriately recognized for doing so," he added.
By Thursday evening, the NLC released a statement reading in part, "The Olsen twins have done the right thing. Now it is up to Wal-Mart to either support Mary-Kate and Ashley’s commitment to women’s rights, or tragically to shut them down."

The Olsens aren't the first celebs to get schooled by labor activists. Last year, the NLC accused rap mogul Sean "P. Diddy" Combs's Sean John fashion line of using sweatshop labor in Honduras, claims which were later denied by government officials.

In the '90s, the group was also successful in holding Gifford responsible for labor abuses against Salvadoran workers who made the former talk show queen's signature Wal-Mart clothes under horrible conditions.

Kiss your human rights goodbye!

Indonesia mulls bans on kissing, exposing 'sensual body parts' in public

05/02/2005 8:53:00 AM

JAKARTA, Indonesia (AP) - Call it a kissing crackdown.
Indonesia's government is considering a law banning unwed couples from pecking in public -and harshly penalizing those who do, the Jakarta Post reported Saturday.
The campaign against kissing is part of a proposal of sweeping reforms to laws adopted by the country's Dutch colonial rulers in the late 19th century.

Drafted by a panel of experts, the revised laws would set environmental protection standards and punish human rights violations and terrorism, the newspaper said.
But they would also impose penalties on unwed couples who kiss in public, while permitting police raids on the homes of those suspected of living together out of wedlock.
Pornography and public displays of "certain sensual body parts" would be outlawed and media, movies and songs censored.

Penalties for law breakers would range from fines as high as 300 million rupiah, or about $40,000 Cdn, to up to 10 years imprisonment, according to the daily.
President Susilo Bambang Yudhoyono and the legislature are expected to spend two years debating and revising the draft.

Critics say the laws would let authorities restrict personal freedoms and muzzle the media.
In recent years, Hollywood movies and TV programs have faced condemnation from religious leaders and government officials in the world's most populous Muslim nation who say such fare violates religious tenets on decency.

Islamic conservatives -some of whom want to replace Indonesia's secular system with one bound by Islamic law -have been emboldened since the fall of ex-dictator Suharto in 1998.

2.2.05

Not Proud...so walk, run, e-shop & GET IT NOW!!!

IN STORES NOW!
http://notproudconfessionsbook.com/about.html


Ring-Around-The-Rosy

Thank you for visiting the Pblog.

(insert smile here)

-The staff

Me, at my finest...

Ok, due to the HIGH traffic/comments that this link gets on a daily basis,
I must explain that this was part of a University film school project, and CLEARLY not just posted on the Pblog for your entertainment.

It is here purely so we can get your gut reaction to my friend's sense of art.

http://www.hybrid.concordia.ca/~smali/Video-Project/Colour-Clips/Maid-medium.mov

Thank you again for visiting the Pblog!

-The staff

1.2.05

Agnes Chapter 1

The couch was plenty worn and filled with winestains, torn at the edges and scuffed from her hooves. There it lay out in the frontyard, it was Agnes' couch.
"I knew it!" I barked loudly inside my country house.
"I knew she would love it!" I shouted, with a hop in my redpainted toed step.
There, out in the grassy yard she stood. One ecstatic onlooking pet Angus cow,
delighted (!) with her gift.

She was a ragged rootbeer brown splendid piece of prime T-bone, splashed with creamy white stiff paintbrush fur at her ears and she had a nose as rough as my uncles 1970's boat seats (but not full of 1970's glitter).

But wait, I am not sure what this all means to you the reader, but so what if I reconsidered that whole getting-a-dog-thing and choose wholeheartedly on getting-a-cow instead.
Maybe it was that mild depression I was going through last year, where I needed 'more-love' than a small dog would bear. I am not sure, but the cats didn't seem to mind the mild acquisition.

I then ran out passing her and sat quietly alone on the couch as she swankly trotted her hooves forward catwalk style.
I saw her coming for me, so I moved to the absolute right side of the couch. She did weigh a hefty bit, as she was ALL cow.
The couch was all busted up and was missing the left side arm so I knew she would fit handsomely there with me. Again, she kicked up her front hoof and tore the dirty dry earth, as if looking for my comforting Mommy voice to invite her.

The sun flickered through the branches covered in white apple blossoms and I could just start to see the sourness of its budding crabapples ruin the whole 'sweet feeling' it gave to it's daily Agnes the cow onlooker. Agnes was headed my way and looked quite tired. Tired from what? I am still unsure of.

I had placed this couch outside of my country home sometime last year.
There it stood, in the front yard aging in the sun. It had seen better company, and I felt poorly for tossing it out. Surely my house had seen enough of the worlds worst 1990's floral pattern from The Sears Catalogue. Not that I shop entirely with a Sears Catalogue, but I once had a friend who worked there so I got a reasonable discount at the time.

So out it went.

It was certainly a floral print that would be left 'to-the-cows' to rot in the sun.
A sort of 'play-thing' for her to sit on and rummage through.
"A mini trampoline to bounce on!" I laughed and imagined.

My closest neighbour was a good half acre away and of the stubborn Irish (what else is new) sort. He worked nights down at Patti's Pub and slept days. I knew he wouldn't see it, nor would he care for my odd couch taste that I had back in the early 90's. He was always tied to that bar and it's drowning John Deere locals. Though ironically enough to some, his father had tragically been hospitalized from kidney problems. So he did actually, yet ONLY upon calls from The General Hospital, make it out once and a while. Yes, in full daylight.

I often wondered if his flesh would ignite via the rays of the sun.

He told me he slept with a pillow over his face to keep the light out. Maybe this was so he wouldn't see the ugly couch, or his odd greying neighbour with a pet cow and it's 1990's floral couch-toy-plaything.
He was the nearest to our house so I would often see him scurry off to the hospital. I was always kind enough to start conversation and add in a joke or two, if I ran into him at the mailbox.
But he was never the sort to take me seriously, and he, never the sort to marry.
He was just of the sort to take care of you on a human-to-human level.
This human (me) had sat constantly at Patti's with a minor drinking problem last year. I sat alone with my smudged mascara and my tangled curls and my warm pints of Guinness.
I sat and imagined happiness and what it would feel like. He did care for my long stories of finding happiness, and thankfully kept the Deere men off me who were into that whole purdy-looks-kind-of-thing they shared. So I at least respected my neighbour.
He also knew that one day I would snap out of it, leave the tired pub and find it.

But snap so far as to buy a cow? no.

Curling up on the couch and waging her tail Agnes looked my way and paused...
Her mouth was giant and housed her tongue, the kind that you see at The Butcher Shoppe,
only alive and faded green with grass. She then licked my now dirty cotton sleeve and this apparently sealed-the-deal of her being quite happy on this pure 90's relic.

Raglan Road

by: Patrick Kavanagh (1904-1967)

On Raglan Road of an Autumn day
I saw her first and knew,
That her dark hair would weave a snare
That I might someday rue.
I saw the danger and I passed
Along the enchanted way.
And I said,
"Let grief be a fallen leaf At the dawning of the day."
On Grafton Street in November, we
Tripped lightly along the ledge
Of a deep ravine where can be seen
The worth of passion play.
The Queen of Hearts still making tarts
And I not making hay;
Oh, I loved too much and by such and such
Is happiness thrown away.
I gave her gifts of the mind,
I gave her the secret signs,
That's known to the artists who have known
The true gods of sound and stone.
And her words and tint without stint
I gave her poems to say
With her own name there and her own dark hair
Like clouds over fields of May.
On a quiet street where old ghosts meet
I see her walking now,
And away from me so hurriedly
My reason must allow.
That I had loved, not as I should
A creature made of clay,
When the angel woos the clay, he'll lose
His wings at the dawn of day.